


You Call It Lazy, I Call It Selective Participation

by futuretrapqueen



Category: Football RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-29
Updated: 2015-09-29
Packaged: 2018-04-23 22:12:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4894279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/futuretrapqueen/pseuds/futuretrapqueen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Neymar annoys Leo, because Neymar knows exactly how to annoy Leo (and Leo knows that Neymar knows how to annoy Leo).</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Call It Lazy, I Call It Selective Participation

**Author's Note:**

> I told myself I'd write Leo/Neymar one day and I finally did it!  
> Just some fluffy fun :)

It took a lot to exasperate Leo.

It really did.

He could tolerate an immense amount of bullshit, but even the strongest of the strong willed people in the world had those button that could be pushed to drive them up the wall ...

And Neymar - beautiful, glorious Neymar - pushed every fucking one of them.

All. The damn. Time.

~

"Neymar! Get in here!"

Leo had the refrigerator door clenched firmly in his grip. He held an empty carton of orange juice in his free hand, while his foot tapped impatiently, as Neymar walked lackadaisically into the kitchen.

"Yes, my love?"

Leo thrust the empty carton towards him.

"What did I tell you?"

"That my ass isn't as small as I thi -"

"No! Not that, what did I tell you about  _this?"_ He repeated, wagging the depleted orange juice container back and forth in front of the younger mans face.

"That if I finish the juice to not put the empty bottle back in the fridge." Neymar mumbled in an almost mocking tone.

Leo sighed. "I was really looking forward to some orange juice, Ney."

"I think we have some apple juice."

"I don't want apple juice."

"Apples are good for you, baby."

"I'm aware of that." Leo snapped, throwing the empty carton into the recycling.

"An apple a day keeps the doctor away, Leo."

"Stop."

"And lots of fiber so you'll poop regularly too."

"Ney, enough."

"Shhh. Leo, you're cranky. Here, have some apple juice, my love."

"But I just said I - "

"Oh ... never mind." Neymar said bashfully. "Apple juice is gone too."

"Oh my God, do we have anything to drink?"

"..."

"..."

"... water?"

~

A good book, a nice glass of wine and a quite evening in front of the fire.

It was easy to make Leo happy, he only needed the little things in life to feel content.

The radio was playing softly in the background as Leo made himself comfortable on the couch, Neymar was resting peacefully in his lap, that is until the Brazilian heard his favorite song on the radio. 

Leo didn't mind when Neymar sang along, he really didn't, but would it kill him to learn the goddamn lyrics before he belted out whatever words came to mind?

Yes.

Yes ...

Yes it would kill him apparently.

" _And the players have a plate, plate, plate, plate, plate._

_And the hay fever is great, great, great, great, great._

_Baby I want a milkshake, shake, shake, shake, shake._

_SHAKE IT OFF! SHAKE IT OFF!"_

"Neymar ..."

_"Jaw breakers going cray, cray, cray, cray cray._

_And the fakers are so fake, so fake, so fake."_

"Ney seriously?"

_Baby I want a milkshake, shake, shake, shake, shake._

_SHAKE IT OFF! SHAKE IT OFF!"_

"Ney those are not the fucking words."

"Uh, excuse me? Yes they are."

"No, baby, they're not."

"How would you know, Mr I-Can't-Name-A-Single-Member-Of-One-Direction?"

"What? What does that have to do with anything?"

"Exactly, Leo. Exactly."

"Jesus Christ. Ney, look. If you want to sing, sing baby! But sing the words, please."

"Fine!"

"Fine."

"I will."

"Good."

"Good!"

" ..."

"..."

"..."

_"_ _Baby I want a milkshake, shake, shake, shake, shake."_

"NEYMAR!"

~

"Oh my God, Leo! You won't believe what happened today!" Neymar whooped from the other end of the hallway.

Leo was channel surfing aimlessly through the television, head propped up by the mound of pillows on their king sized bed.

"What happened baby?" He asked quirking an eyebrow at the younger man. Neymar plopped down onto Leo's lap, bobbing up and down excitedly.

"Okay so I was talking with Dani this morning -"

"Uh huh."

"And well, you know how we've been trying to hook Rafa up with that guy we met at the bar the other night?"

"That Pablo guy? Yeah?"

"Well Dani heard from Pablo's friend Miguel, that -" Neymar stopped mid sentence to read a text message that had buzzed through on his phone. 

"That?"

"What?" Neymar said distractedly.

"What did Dani hear from Miguel?"

"Who's Miguel?" Neymar asked, attention focused completely on his phone.

Leo groaned, nudging the younger man with his hip.

"You just said Dani heard from Pablo -"

"No he heard from Miguel."

"Heard what from Miguel?"

"No Dani heard from Miguel."

"Yes I know."

"I didn't hear from Miguel."

"I know that baby, but what did Dani -"

"HAHAHAHAHA!" Neymar wasn't paying attention to Leo at all, laughing hysterically at something on his phone.

"You have the attention span of a fucking flea."

Neymar snorted. "Flea."

"What?"

" _La pulga!_ "

"Oh my God, get off me." Leo grumbled, grabbing Neymars hips and throwing him onto the bed.

"Hey! Leo wait!" Neymar pleaded, grasping Leo's wrist before he could get too far.

"What, Neymar? What?"

"Did I tell you what Dani heard from Pablo's friend Miguel?"

"Seriously, Neymar? SERIOUSLY?!"

 


End file.
